Tag Archive for 'Life'

Despite the best intentions

Published on August 27, 2010 in Baby and Life. 3 Comments Tags: Baby, family, Life, parenting, toddler.

Chloe had an unusually accident prone day today. It started with a bloody split lip on a picnic bench at the park, with further little mishaps throughout the day, ending with a scraped cheek on one of the short bamboo poles that surround our smallest garden plot.

After the early split lip, I tried to be careful of the foods I offered her afterwards – banana, scrambled eggs, macaroni and cheese – but after lunch I forgot and gave her kiwi. I felt so bad after she cried out that in a mild panic I offered her vanilla ice cream, hoping to soothe the swelling and sting. David gave me a brief hard time for the kiwi, but then during dinner he gave her ketchup, which, from her reaction, must have been worse. Uh-huh. Despite the depth of our love for our daughter and our willingness to protect her, both of us accidentally caused her just a little more pain due to simple forgetfulness. I don’t know why, but it surprises me. We’re only human? We make mistakes? But they’re careless mistakes, despite our best intentions.

After our al fresco dinner, we stayed in the backyard for a while longer, soaking up the beautiful blue skies and temperate weather. David and Chloe were playing together, so I started clearing the table, but them came back out to sit and watch. It was weird though, because I kept feeling pulled to do something else – get on the computer, play with my iphone (did you know you can watch netflix movies now?), read through a catalog that came in the mail, anything but just sit there, enjoying a beautiful evening with my family. That didn’t seem right either. Summer will be over in less than a month, and I could barely seem to quiet my mind long enough to appreciate it. I shared these thoughts aloud to David, and he replied that I’ve always been like that. That my mind is always going, and I often seem to be somewhere else. He continued to tease me (I think) with some exaggerations, but there was some truth to what he was saying. Anyway, eventually we lay there on the grass in each others arms, with Chloe and Barkley playing close by, and I was able to focus in on the moment, for which I am grateful. It seems that it shouldn’t be so hard, to be in the present, but sometimes it is. I, in particular, have to work at it. Maybe that is why I enjoy reading so much, because I like to “get away” for a while. But it is nice, and important, to come back, too.

Oh, and two more things: 1) I finally got a decent shot of one of the elusive white butterflies (above) that I mentioned here. 2) The article on how Digital Devices Deprive Brain of Needed Downtime (NYTimes) is worth a read. Goodnight!

Weekend Camping

Published on August 3, 2010 in Travel and outdoors. 6 Comments Tags: blue, camping, Falls, family, hiking, Life, pool, Tamolitch, Travel.

We went camping this weekend in celebration of a friend’s 40th birthday. Once upon a time, 40 seemed so far away, but now that I am creeping up there myself, I can’t say I feel like I thought I’d feel. While I do feel like a grown-up (especially after the baby was born), I don’t feel as “grown-up” as I thought I’d feel by this point. I’m guessing it is true for most people, that though we live our adult lives every day, being grown-up doesn’t feel like we thought it would feel when we were kids thinking about being grown-up. Does that make sense?

Anyway, the highlight of this trip for me was the 2.2 mile hike to the Blue Pool, also known as Tamolitch Falls. The “Falls” actually no longer exists here. What used to be the upper section of the McKenzie river has been diverted, and now the water that fills this pool comes from an underground source. This is my favorite kind of hike - with a destination, or “reward” at the end, and this one did not disappoint. As a matter of fact, the pool contained the bluest water I’ve ever seen in my life, more like a really deep turquoise. The photo does not do the color justice, nor does it even hint at it’s incredible depth. Let me tell you, it was hard to resist the pull of all that glistening water on a summer day, but a quick temperature check with a dipped hand into the freezing cold instantly warned us that would not be a good idea.

And did I mention that I carried Chloe on my back on the hike up? I was pretty proud of myself. I think it actually made the experience more fun, hiking with friends with our babies on our backs. We brought the Beco carrier instead of the framed Kelty carrier because it packs down so much smaller in an already full car (Barkley was also with us). I’m happy to say the Beco continues to be worth every penny, although we use it less now than when Chloe was a newborn. And although camping with a toddler is quite challenging at times, I think it was still a good experience.

Today’s Randomness

Published on July 28, 2010 in Garden and Life. 8 Comments Tags: Life, random.

:: At the gas station this morning, a guy in a new BMW 650i convertible pulled up next to me. I over heard him ask the gas station attendant for $14 of super-premium gas (btw, in Oregon, it is illegal to pump your own gas). Then he proceeds to ask the low-wage attendant if the gas there was any good. Not watered-down is it?

:: On the way to the store, I saw a license plate that said SIMRDN.

:: At the store I paid $5.99 for an ice cube tray, because David really wanted one and it was all they had. Granted, it came with a lid, but $5.99 for a molded piece of plastic?

:: At that same store, I saw a woman shopping with three kids. The boy was sitting in the shopping cart, the younger girl was sitting on the cart’s seat, and the baby was in a carrier on the mom’s chest. All three were calm and content, so much so, that the mom was also able to talk on her cell phone. I almost stopped for a second just to stare in admiration. But I couldn’t, because my one daughter was feeling fussy and constantly trying to climb out of the cart seat. It was all I could do to handle one toddler while shopping, but three? What’s her secret?

:: Later in the afternoon there was a knock at our door. It was our neighbor and her boys pulling their little red wagon behind them. They had picked blueberries off their bush and was going around “delivering” bowls of some of their harvest. Isn’t that the sweetest thing? Thanks to them we had a berry rhubarb crisp for dessert tonight!

Dear Chloe, 20 months old

Published on July 24, 2010 in Baby. 2 Comments Tags: 20-months, Baby, chloe, Life, toddler.

Dear Chloe, You are 20-months-old today!

I love the little surprises that each day brings, especially the smiles and laughter, hugs and kisses. New words especially are starting to flow, including two word combinations like “hold it” (you want to hold it), “see this” (you want to see something), “shoes (or socks, or hat…) on”, “(hair) clip in”, and one of my favorites “bless you!” (after sneezing). At the breakfast table just this morning you said “Daddy! Sit. Down. Eat!”

When I ask you “What’s your name?” you say “Co-eee!” When you see the neighbor’s black cat you say “Meow,” (you are really into animals and their sounds). You like to point out ownership of things, whether they are “Mommy’s,” “Daddy’s,” or “C0-eee’s.” When something is not quite right, like some juice has spilled, you make sure I know about it with choruses of “Uh-oh! Uh-oh!” and when you fall down I’ll hear “Boom!” often followed by “Up!” because you’ll want me to hold you.

You’re just now beginning to learn colors, and are becoming more interested in crayons and play-doh. Recently I suggested you draw with the yellow crayon, and you picked it out and started drawing. So you are paying attention! And you’re a big helper. If asked, you’ll pick up your toys and put them in your drawers, or move piles of laundry, or help wipe down the kitchen after a meal.

Mealtimes are getting much better. While several of your daily calories still come from snacks, you are (dare I say it?) eating more and feeding yourself with increasing skill. I still have to hide certain things (freshly pureed spinach into mayo as a spread on bread, or salmon into your mac and cheese) to make sure you’re getting a varied and healthy diet of foods you won’t eat individually, but overall, you seem to be growing, which I am very happy to see.

Every day you bring joy to my heart. Here’s to another beautiful month of summer with my sweet little girl,
Love Mommy

And, so…

Published on May 27, 2010 in Life. 0 Comments Tags: estemere, lamp, Life, post, routines, view.

We’re back! Actually, we’ve been back since Sunday, but the many tasks that await a returning traveler are endless. We had a wonderful trip, though, and there is so much to share. Maybe too much, because I can’t decide where to start. It would be just like me to let it all go in favor of moving forward, but that would be a shame.

Chloe and I are pretty much back to our normal routine. It hasn’t been easy with the time change, Chloe missing her grandmothers and grandfathers, and me missing the help. I’m also sore from starting back up at the gym (no one helps me pack on the pounds like my mother). We’re looking forward to spending the long holiday weekend with Daddy and hope all of you have a fun weekend ahead, too!

Rocks and Water

Published on April 21, 2010 in Baby and Life. 2 Comments Tags: Baby, chloe, fishing, Life, mckenzie, river, water.

On Saturday we drove down to Eugene to see my photograph hanging at the Jacobs Gallery. There were some beautiful works of art presented, and if we had that kind of money I’m sure we would have bought one or two of our favorites. Afterwards we got lunch at the Saturday Market and then headed up river to one of David’s favorite fishing spots.

We ended up at one of the resevoirs not far from the waterfalls. The water was so cold and the gravel prickly, but that didn’t stop Chloe from wanting to play. Rather than fight it, I took off her shoes and socks, rolled up her pants, and let her go. We were high in the mountains, so the water was fairly calm and clean (not like the dirty lakes and rivers of the city). I like how she looks so serious in these photos – having fun is hard work sometimes!

Happiness

Published on March 12, 2010 in Art, Life and Photos. 2 Comments Tags: happiness, Life, Mother & Baby, photography.

I’ve been feeling a little bad about the last post. Some days are just harder than others, and I realize that there are a lot of people that would happily exchange their problems for mine. So today I’m just concentrating on happiness and I’m finding a lot to be happy for.

Happiness today is…

Chloe going back to sleep after waking up early
Spending that extra time snuggling with my honey
Watching Chloe’s happily explore during her art class
Driving downtown to pick up my professionally printed photo for the Living River juried art exhibit. Can you believe it?! My photo was one of 80 works (from textiles, sculpture, photography, paintings, etc) selected out of over 350 submissions. I’ve never “shown” my work like this before, which is kind of thrilling.
Treating myself to a mocha and bressane from the Pearl Bakery.
Chloe falling asleep on the way home, and then taking a second nap later in the afternoon.
Finding out my mother-in-law is coming for a visit!

Night Night

Published on March 9, 2010 in Baby and Life. 5 Comments Tags: Baby, Life, Mother & Baby, sleep, working.

Today, while Chloe was sitting in my lap and I was briefly checking my email, Chloe put her head down on my arm. I heard her saying something over and over, and when I gave her my full attention I realized she was repeating “night night.” Fascinated, I cautiously asked her if she wanted to go night night. After all, I didn’t want her to worry I’d lay her in bed, just because she happened to say the words. Well, she didn’t say no, even though I asked her a couple times and walked her into her room. There I laid her down and covered her gently with a blanket, all the while expecting her to protest. But she didn’t. She took at nap.

Chloe’s napping has been haywire lately. I think she’s transitioning from two naps to one. She hasn’t taken two naps for days now, and I have to gauge carefully when is a good time to put her down. I usually guess correctly, and she goes right down, but sometimes, its anyone’s guess.

I already miss the two nap schedule. I have a hard time getting anything done, and working is almost impossible. It has gotten to the point that she cries if I sit down at my computer. She is also more energetic than ever, and very LOUD. She’ll wander around the house yelling Mama! Mama! or More! More! over and over again, or just generally crying at my legs until I get up.

It is really the days when I have work to do that are the hardest. Regular days are fine, where I can give my full attention to just us. David has suggested I give up working from home, but I don’t want to. But I also don’t want him to come home to a messy house, frustrated wife and grumpy child either. I know that something’s gotta give. I just hope to put off whatever it is a little longer. I’m scared that if I stop taking work and lose my clients it will be impossible to get that momentum back. Plus, it is something I enjoy (when I can concentrate) and it keeps my skills updated. Who knows what things will be like if I stop now and try to start again later? The industry and software is ever changing. I could get left behind. But I also want to be a good mom. And a good wife, too.

Why can’t I just have it all?

Thoughts for 2010

Published on January 1, 2010 in Life. 0 Comments Tags: 2010, goals, Life, list, resolutions.

Meridian Way Wind Farm, Cloud County, Kansas

It seems that every year I make the same old resolutions – drink more water, exercise, spend less, blah, blah. Not surprisingly, the outcome is about the same from year to year. This year, I’m skipping the resolutions. Instead, I’ve decided on three simple goals I’d like to accomplish just once every month in 2010:

1. Make something crafty
2. Visit someplace new
3. Try a new recipe

That’s it. Simple, measurable, achievable.

Of course, there are a thousand other things I could add to this list, and ultimately I do have many more hopes for this new year, but these are just for me, and perhaps my family (and possibly friends) will also benefit. It could mean a trip to the Children’s Museum with Chloe (where I’ve never been) or a delicious, unique meal for my husband to try. Either way, I hope it will also provide a chance to document each undertaking with photography, which is something I enjoy and would like to get better at.

What are your goals for the new year?

Barkley Update

Published on November 10, 2009 in Barkley. 3 Comments Tags: Barkley, dog, Life, mix, shepherd, wash, wet.

Poor Barkley. He’s had a hard year. Not only did he have to adjust to a new baby in the house, but he also had leg surgery which put him out of commision for months. I’m afraid that nothing will be quite the same for him again. This past Sunday we make it Barkley Day to give him a little extra love including a special walk, gentle game of fetch, and a trip to PetSmart. He would have preferred we left it at that, but when we returned home he also got a good brushing and scrub down in the backyard (see below). Chloe was very amused. Barkley not so much.

Challenges

Published on June 11, 2009 in Baby. 0 Comments Tags: Baby, challenges, Life, parenting.

Unexpected flowers flourishing in a crack on the Feldkamp’s front porch.

Ugh. We’ve only been back for a few days and already I feel so BORED! Now I know why new mothers tend to have shopping disorders – it’s simply an easy, safe, and entertaining thing to do with a baby. It gets you both out of the house, and if you happen to find something cute or useful, then it gives you a sense of accomplishment, too. The thing is, after two back-to-back trips to each set of grandparents, Chloe has almost everything she needs until winter. Plus, I really don’t want to become that kind of mother…

So, what else is there to do? I could start a craft or sewing project, but I don’t really have anything in mind, nor do I look forward to being interrupted every two minutes. Plus, our house is so small that the sound of the sewing machine wakes up the baby. We could go on a day trip, maybe to the coast or to the Oregon Garden, except that Chloe really doesn’t like her car seat right now. She’ll probably just cry until she falls asleep, but by then I’d get a headache and the fun would drain right out of the adventure. Hiking is out of the question, even though I enjoy it. I’m one of those mothers who doesn’t really feel safe in the woods all alone with her baby. Chloe hasn’t liked going for walks in her stroller lately, either, which makes walking the dog a bigger chore than it needs to be, which sucks.

So, what to do? Yes, we still do the baby time at the library, but that is only 30 minutes, one day a week. Gymboree and baby pool classes are another option, but they are just so expensive. I’d love to take a class on my own, maybe on web design or photography, but finding a sitter is a whole ‘nother can of worms. Mom?! Sandy?! I miss you guys SO much!

Fallen

Published on May 29, 2009 in Home. 4 Comments Tags: damage, Home, Life, tree.

The uprooted hawthorne tree. The first and smallest to go.

A few weeks ago, on a morning I least expected it, our hawthorne tree uprooted and fell. The lightening crack of sound and following crash was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced (and hope never to again). It happened so fast, just long enough for me to pray that the baby sleeping in the bedroom would be unharmed.

Luckily, the tree fell sideways across the backyard, taking down our power line, cable internet and phone line, but damaging only little of our shed, raspberry patch, and house. I guess I can’t say it was a complete and utter surprise, although it looked healthy and still had white blooms and tiny spring leaves forming all around it. David had noticed that a bulge was forming on the ground around the back, and knew it could spell trouble. We just had no idea how soon. Nor do we know exactly what might have caused it.

Right after the hawthorne fell, we noticed that our large maple wasn’t leafing out with the other trees. We hoped it was just getting a late start this year, but no, it hadn’t survived the winter. Today, we had it removed, along with the large pine just a few feet away. The too close proximity caused the trunk to bow out dangerously over the house. The pine had the potential to do major damage, and we’ve talked about having it taken out since we moved in four years ago. We never guessed our hand would be forced.

Now, with the removal complete, the backyard looks naked. Three trees gone in a matter of weeks. Felled in what feels like too quick a manner for the many years it took them to grow.

I’ll miss them.

A Sunny Weekend

Published on April 20, 2009 in Life and outdoors. 0 Comments Tags: Life, weekend.

What a beautiful weekend, perfect for starting some seeds in the garden and soaking in a little spring sunshine. On Sunday we took a drive so David could throw his line into the Wilson, while Chloe and I sat river side, enjoying the fresh air and view.

Back at home, we all crashed on the grass in the backyard. David and Chloe enjoying a little nap in the shade.

Holding Pattern

Published on April 16, 2009 in Baby and Life. 0 Comments Tags: Baby, Life.

I guess I haven’t had much to say lately. I think I might just be in a holding pattern. Sometimes I’m not sure what I should be doing with myself. I can’t do much while the baby is awake because she needs attention, but I can’t really do much when she’s asleep either, for fear that I’ll wake her up. A “catch-22″ lifestyle right now.

In other news, I’ve booked a flight for Chloe and I to fly back east to visit my family next month. I am a little nervous traveling so far by myself with the baby. I’ve been perusing baby travel web sites and started a packing list to ensure I won’t forget anything, especially in my carry-on. Any tips would be appreciated!