I’m leaving on a trip tomorrow. By myself, without the kids, for a week. I don’t want to leave them. I am trying not to freak out. I want to be calm and rational. In four years, I have only been gone from them for one night.

But… something has happened.

It will be awkward. I will be uncomfortable. I will pretend to be more confident than I am. I will go beyond my comfort zone and be the best supporter that I can be. There will be some good times, too. I am sure of it.

Motherhood has taught me that I can be strong and capable of many things. That I can cope. Strange to think of motherhood that way. That something so cherished and wonderful and natural can also be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I should be so lucky.

The kids will be fine. They’ll be home, in familiar surroundings, in a comfortable routine, with people who love them.

And I must rise to the occasion. And also to pack.

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3 thoughts on “Life

  1. Good on you for taking some time for yourself. I think as mothers we can get “burnt out” from giving to everyone around us except ourselves. I wish you have a good trip where ever you may go and come back refreshed and renewed for the year ahead.

  2. Ah. So scary. I’m anxious to hear about your travels and how you do. Wishing you a good trip.

  3. Pingback: The “C” Word « Paperseed

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