One month down

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Leo turned one month old this week. Several times I sat down to try and write about what life has been like this past month, but I can’t seem to find the right words.

Basically, it’s complicated.

One thing for sure – being a mother of a newborn and a toddler is HARD. Existing on such minimal sleep is the worst part – like living life through a fog. Simple tasks can seem monumental. And I feel like I should be happier – like when my mom was here, I felt like I should have been so happy, but I wasn’t quite as happy as I thought I should be. Does that make sense?

Anyway, in a nutshell, this past month has been stressful, but things are getting better. I am feeling better, both mentally and physically. Best of all, we are slowly starting to adjust to our new shape as a family.

As for Leo, he is definitely growing. Seriously. It was like I woke up one morning and my tiny newborn was replaced by a hefty baby boy (which makes sense when I think about it, since all he wants to do is nurse). Nights are getting somewhat easier, and what seemed to be his constant fussing and crying is giving way to a few more periods of “quiet alertness.” Thank goodness.

The thing I miss most is the little time I had for myself, and going out with the “ease” of having just one child. Now there are two little individuals with vastly different needs. There are moments I feel trapped and frustrated in my own house, and other times when I don’t want to leave again, ever. Plus, I miss my husband. He’s here, too, doing his part, but our whole lives are revolving around the kids right now, with no time for us. It will be good when Grandma Sandy (my mother-in-law) comes next week. Hopefully that might give us time to reconnect. So, again, it’s hard. But we’re dealing. And learning. And living.

One day at a time.

(Btw – that photo was taken by David a week or so ago, so Leo is not a one-month old in that photo. Note to self: take more photos!)

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7 thoughts on “One month down

  1. She’s smiling, he’s growing, you still at least remember your husband’s name–I say you’re doing great! And, it’s just gonna keep on getting better!
    Furthermore, there isn’t a single stain anywhere in that picture! I suspect a magic fairy’s presence. ‘Cause seriously, how in the heck as a new (again) mom did you manage that?!?!!???

  2. the first few months are a blur and you will always regret not enjoying it more. however, there is no way to with all the work you’re doing! so just hang on and hold out until he’s a little older. my kiddos are 16 months apart. the only way i can leave the house and get anything done is to wear my youngest on my back(or front when she was smaller) in a beco or ergo. babywearing becomes a lifesaving practice with a tiny tot and an infant. good luck with your beautiful babies:)

  3. Ah, I feel it. Happy is hard with so little sleep- in fact, I don’t think it can really happen for me. Wish I could bring you dinner and take sweet Chloe for a walk. It keeps getting better- promise!

  4. love the title of this post. i totally understand where you’re coming from! we’re almost at the three month mark–the magical point that i keep telling myself it will be easier. but looking back, it has gotten so much better gradually, already. things that seemed so stressful or even impossible are doable. sometimes i try to fake “happy” until i really am and it works–sometimes.

    you can do it, and when sleep improves, so does everything else!

  5. They are so sweet, your little ones, and I am sure that it will get better soon.

  6. Chloe & Leo are the picture of sweetness! Hope it gets easier soon! XOXOXO

  7. Hang in there Mama! You are doing a great job with your babes, and the best thing about marriage is that it is forever and you’ll have time to catch up! 😉

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